Ender's Choice
by Valar Morghulis
Summary: When Ender leaves her in Trondheim, what does Valentine think? Is she really at peace with his decision, or is she still bitter about what he did to her? Oneshot.


A/n: Valentine wrote her letter about a week after Ender left Trondheim to go to Lusitania. If Ender received it and wrote back straightaway, Val should get a reply within a week or two. Jane would, of course, have to manipulate the ansible connection so Ender can receive and send messages at light-speed, but she could do that easily.

And the disclaimer: I do not own Ender's Game.

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To: _Andrew  
_From: _Valentine  
_Subject:_ Goodbye_

Let me paint a picture for you. It was … what, 2000, 3000 years ago? We were sitting on a raft, the one that you made yourself. We weren't doing anything at all. I was there to sell you back to the Government. We both knew that.

You were telling me about Peter. Funny, that. You spent so little time with him and I so much, yet he was so much more important to you than he ever was to me.  
You told me you wanted him to love you. That's strange, too. You were the great hero of our time, the person every little boy in the world wanted to be. You could have had absolutely anything except what you wanted. In fact, you could have had anything at all. It was only later that you realised he only cared for what you represented, not who you were. And by then it was too late. He was older, growing up like you have never done. You wanted to impress the boy who used to threaten to kill you, who skinned squirrels and nailed them to the ground. Why? I don't know. But he doesn't exist any more. You've spent the last 3000 years in a hopeless quest for something you could never find. And I came along too, like a fool.

But not any more. I don't blame you, Ender. You probably didn't realise what you were looking for any more than I did. Still, enough is enough.

So farewell, Ender. Andrew. Ender. You won't hear from me again. Don't write back. You've chosen your path in life, and, finally, I've chosen mine.

Good luck and goodbye,

Your loving sister,  
Valentine

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To:_ Valentine  
_From:_ Andrew  
_Subject:_ Hello again_

You were always good at arguing a point, Valentine. Speaking your mind, persuading others. You were the rabble-rouser, writing in the newspapers, on the internet – even to me – as the personality Peter invented for you, Demostheses.

I don't know why you say I was searching for Peter, when in fact it was you searching – searching for any way to escape being the person he made you.

You know what I'm talking about, Valentine. I wasn't there, when you and Peter were writing your subversive articles together under the guise of doing your homework. But when you told me about it, I understood why you, the pacifist, had to be the troublemaker Demosthenes, while he got to be the stately Locke. It wasn't just because Peter wanted to make a good name for himself – although that was part of it – but because he was moulding you like clay, making you the tool he wanted you to be.

That's why you've been running with me, running helter-skelter through all the worlds that we've been to. I was searching for something, true, but it has nothing to do with Peter. I said goodbye to him a long time ago – both versions of him, not only the person who cold-heartedly manipulated you and shaped your future, but the later Peter, the one who became Hegemon and led the world through decades of peace and prosperity.

That's what you haven't done. You think that you could live with Peter for fifteen years without changing? You thought wrong. You've been trying to reclaim the past, the years when you were just an innocent little girl. And you've been failing.

But finally you stopped. You found someone who could make you feel that you are who you are, and that's it. Jakt's right, Valentine. Whatever Peter did to you, you've become your own person. Never forget that.

As for me, I'm still going. Where? You don't need to know. If you did … if you did, it would spoil your happy ending. Let's just say that I'm trying to make up for what I did wrong so many years ago.

Forever yours,  
Ender

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_Just a few reviews would make me insanely happy all day._


End file.
